Keeping it Classy.

On personal style and dressing your age at (almost) 40.

Once upon a time, when Twitter was young and you redesigned your Blogger page every week…I had a “fashion” blog. No, I’m not showing you pictures. And yes, this is both hilarious and mortifying.

Fashion might be a strong term. I was simply one of the many millennial women posting regular outfit photos, or OOTDs as they were called then. Occasionally I would also go to Anthropologie, try things on, and post those photos. Good grief, I can’t believe I’m admitting this.

Suffice it to say, this is not something I would do today. I have a hard time even doing reels or stories with myself in them. I’ve always loved design, photography, storytelling, and I got to explore all those things through blogging, but boy would I be embarrassed if anyone could see that blog now.

The funny thing is, I do still enjoy talking about clothes, hair, makeup, etc. What are we wearing? Using? Loving? Let’s all just acknowledge it, figuring out what to wear is HARD. It’s confusing! Especially in this age of the Internet, where a diabolical algorithm is constantly throwing things in your path that you didn’t ask for. I’ve had so many conversations with other women my age, feeling this very thing.

Now that we shop online versus in stores, the fashion industry is no longer influencing us with it’s trickle down effect (a la Devil Wears Prada). We used to go to a store, shop from what’s available and buy what fit. Now…well, it’s a free for all.

So, how does one navigate such a thing? How does one who may or may not be turning 40 this year, figure out what to wear?

Let’s talk about it, shall we?

A few disclaimers:

• I fully know and believe that how we look does not determine our worth. You and I are fearfully and wonderfully made, regardless of whether we put a bra and makeup on that day.

• I also fully acknowledge that our confidence and self-worth should not come from what we look like, nor should we be looking for validation and security in others’ opinions of us.

• Finally, I very tangibly understand what it means to be on a limited budget. I have never had much extra money to spend on clothing, and certainly not expensive clothing.

That all being said, I WANT TO LOOK NICE. Because when I look nice, I feel GOOD. And when I feel GOOD, I can give my best to the people in my life. Which is what matters most anyway.

So, clothes are important. Not capital I important, but important just the same. Here are a few of the things I’ve discovered that make me feel put together.

Put together means…

• Doing my hair. All my life I’ve longed to have “easy” hair. Straight hair. Smooth hair. Hair that didn’t require a great deal of time and heat devices to tame. But at 40, I’ve accepted this is not my fate. What I do have, is really lovely, long, thick, naturally red hair, which when I’ve done it properly, makes me feel really nice.

• Makeup on. I have a very simple, natural, minimal makeup routine. It takes about 3 minutes to accomplish, and I magically look like myself again. As a redhead, I feel strongly about mascara, am a big fan of a nice coral blush, and these days, really love my Merit Brow Pomade.

• Shoes. Call me an old lady, but between two decades of basketball, cooking professionally, and motherhood, if I don’t wear shoes, my feet ache. My favorite shoes around the house are these light blue Barefoot sneakers. They go perfectly with jeans.

• Jewelry + Fragrance. This is a newer realization for me, but I have discovered that I really feel “ready” when I’m wearing jewelry. And this realization is bit ironic, because I am not a big jewelry person. In fact, I once cried when my husband took me to a jewelry store and told me to “pick something out.” It’s not my thing. All I really want in the jewelry department is: one pair of great earrings, one simple versatile necklace (with my kids initials), my wedding ring, my watch, and my cheesy 90’s charm bracelet. I’m also very simple when it comes to fragrance, but I love the idea of a “signature scent.” Despite loving flowers in the garden, I always gravitate towards perfume a little bit woodsy and masculine. Steadfast by Purely Parsons is my current signature scent.

Know Thyself.

Ok, so we’ve established that getting ready is important. Even if it happens at 3 p.m., it still makes me feel better and on top of things.

So what about the actual clothes? What should we be wearing anyway? As I have discovered through much trial and error, you really have to know yourself and be realistic about your life when it comes to how you dress. Here’s a few things I’ve discovered along the way.

• I just don’t wear skirts or dresses. It’s not that I don’t like them. They’re beautiful! And it’s not like I haven’t worn skirts and dresses at different times, or for different occasions. I have and I will continue to. It’s just that on an everyday basis, I’m never going to reach for a dress first. And so, I don’t many of them. I’ve owned the same 3 dresses for the last 5 years, and they’ve worked for every occasion.

• I live on a farm. I live on 10 acres of grass, dirt, and mud. So much mud. I sweat, I get dirty and my clothes get stained. Fabrics, cuts and colors need to be practical. I’m getting better about having specific clothing for especially dirty tasks- like gardening, etc. But I generally need to be able to cook, clean, school my kids and run to soccer practice, without having to change a bunch.

• Temperature matters. I despise being cold. And here in Oregon, the Winters can be not only cold, but DAMP. I need clothing that keeps me sufficiently warm, dry and comfortable, even when the weather is cold and gray. I also loathe being overheated, so the right clothing and fabrics are very important in Summer as well.

• Comfort is key. Comfort is VERY important to me. Both physical comfort and how I feel, like confidence-wise in the clothes. I’m never truly comfortable if an outfit doesn’t feel “true to me.” If something bothers me physically— too tight, too loose, ill fitting, a weird fabric, stretches out or impedes movement— it might as well go straight to the Goodwill pile. And similarly, if I feel unsure, insecure or too conspicuous in what I’m wearing, “Sayonara.”

• The PNW Factor. I live in Oregon, heart of the Pacific Northwest. And here in Upper Left USA, it is a far worse fashion faux pas to be overdressed rather than underdressed. For some reason, if you show up overdressed, or dressed too nicely or formally, it makes everyone very uncomfortable. That Jim Gaffigan sketch about everyone in Portland always looking like they’re ready for a hike to break out? He’s not joking.

A huge part of figuring out your personal style is acknowledging some of these factors. As well as making a few mistakes along the way…

My many missteps

In case you’re thinking that I have this all figured out, let me reassure that I DO NOT. Over the years I have tried on many, many different looks, trends, colors, patterns and styles. Some better than others. Here’s a look at a few of the styles I’ve tried on for size.

• Anthropologie/Zooey Deschanel Phase. As I mentioned earlier, I once went into Anthropologie dressing rooms and took photos of myself trying things on. And then posted them on the Internet. Oy. I was very into Zooey Deschanel, and tried out the blunt bangs, cat eyes, bright colors, all of it. The thing is, I always felt like a little girl in dress-up clothes. It didn’t last.

• Cottagecore/Pastel Phase. Heavily influenced by the beautifully curated shop Adored Vintage, I really tried on the whole Cottagecore/Prairie Muffin look. I filled my wardrobe with dresses in soft colors, adorned with sweet florals, ruffles and ribbons. Unfortunately, these lovely clothes were highly impractical for my actual life, and everywhere I went, I felt like I was playing a character, instead of myself.

• Granola Girl Phase(s). After (and in between) trying out two overtly feminine styles, I’ve tended to revert back to my safety zone: the Granola Girl. This is probably the most consistent phase I’ve dabbled in over the last 10 years, partially because it really makes sense in my environment. And partially because I really do love the outdoors, hiking, etc., so it’s not too far of a cry to dress that way. But as my 40th birthday is approaching, I’m finding this look is feeling a bit young. A bit immature, overly casual, and sometimes a little too masculine. I do love me some REI, always will. But I’m wondering if maybe my outdoor wear should just stay in it’s outdoorsy lane.

• Nancy Meyers Heroine. This is simultaneously my oldest and latest clothing phase. I can instantly transport myself back to the theatre in 1998, where I sat in the dark, drinking in the beautiful wardrobe of The Parent Trap. I vividly remember when Something’s Gotta Give came out in 2003. Totally captivated by both the wardrobe and interiors. Same with It’s Complicated. And last Summer, when I watched Love, Meghan on Netflix, I fell back in love with that Nancy Meyers look that she wears so well.

So where are we headed now?

This is the part (besides telling you I had an OOTD blog, ha!) that feels a little bit vulnerable and scary. Because I’m not totally sure. I can’t confidently say, THIS IS MY SIGNATURE STYLE. THIS is what I wear and who I am! Because it ebbs and flows, and if I’m being honest, I think it will continue to do so.

But I can tell you what’s inspiring me at this point in my life, making me feel put together, like I’m dressing my age, and expressing my personality. And it’s a dash of that Granola Girl vibe, because Hello, Oregon, combined with a healthy serving of classic, timeless Nancy Meyers.

We’ll call her West Coast Classy. After all, the Internet loves a label.

Keeping it Classy

Let’s walk through a few elements of what I feel makes up this West Coast Classy vibe, and then I’ll share some of the items I’m eyeing or inspired by for Spring and Summer.

West Coast Classy (Spring/Summer) means…

• Light denim. Jeans and shorts. Frayed hems and maybe a hole or two. Casual, but nicely fitting. Classic cuts like a straight leg.

• White denim. Jeans and shorts. I have a slightly cropped, straight leg pair of jeans with holes, that are bright and crisp, but not too fussy. Super versatile.

• Classic T-Shirt. Crisp white. Pure black. Soft, heathered gray. Navy with stripes.

• Button Up. Either plain or striped. Linen or cotton.

• Creamy Cardigan. I bought a sand colored cardi from Quince last summer, wore it at least twice a week, and can’t wait to get it back in rotation.

• Beachy hair. Long hair, loose waves, sunkissed highlights.

• Straw bag. I’m eyeing one that doubles as a backpack, like this.

• Linen. Pants or shorts. Such a comfy classic.

• Sandals. Birkenstocks keep it casual, while a nice pair of leather slides dresses things up.

Let’s keep the conversation going

What are you wearing, loving, buying for Spring? What is your personal style? Have you too tried trends that didn’t fit, or trends that did? Leave me a comment, I’d love to know.

Also let me know if you’d be interested in a post on the capsule-ish wardrobe I’m putting together for Spring/Summer this year. Might be fun to share some of my secondhand shopping secrets as well.

Thanks for being here friends!